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It amazes me how some days are so much better than others. I have days where I am not hungry at all really and then others where I could eat the whole house. Yesterday was a day I could eat the whole house. I was starving. I couldn’t stop. I was truly hungry. I knew if I didn’t eat that I wasn’t going to be satisfied. I didn’t eat healthy like I should. I have to do better. I went to bed full and woke up not feeling well. I have got to do better. I know I ate too much.

It is so frustrating. I feel like I self-sabotaged. But yet I truly was hungry. I guess I need to regroup and think about what I did in the beginning to keep good stuff in the house. It helped in moments like this.

I’m sure I am not the only one who has gone through this. It’s hard isn’t it?



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I was thinking about losing weight. Isn’t it weird how circumstances can push us to stay stuck or to get to work on something? For years I was in a negative relationship. I also worked in a toxic environment. I was at a point in life where I didn’t think there was any way to change things. I felt stuck. I was depressed and angry. I was apathetic.

This year I decided that I was making changes. Change is something I hate. I despise change. My life has been turned upside down more than I am comfortable with. Once bitten, twice shy. Well increase that number exponentially. But frustration overcame fear. I got a new job. It’s amazing what a positive change will do.

I still have a very long road to follow but I am doing it. I am continually looking for positive changes I can make incrementally. I can handle little changes easier than big ones.

April 2, 2015

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I weighed in the other day. I did well. So far I have lost 22.4 lbs. I’m using Weight Watchers but I am also watching how things add up easily. It is easy to gain weight! Too bad it isn’t as easy to lose. But that is what is pushing me to move forward and keep going. I don’t want to have to go through this again. It’s like going through detox for rehab. Except it is an extended time period. Yes, you get used to eating healthier and it does get easier, but it will probably always be an issue.

I have figured out that I like carbs too much. When I am sad, I want carbs. When I am happy, I want carbs. When I am depressed, I want carbs. They taste good. I’m not going to lie. And they give me a quick boost to my serotonin levels and I instantly feel better. Don’t believe me? Check WebMD and let them explain it.

But I am learning to make better choices. Today at 2:30 when I was suddenly hungry again, I didn’t go get the candy bar I thought about in passing. Instead I went upstairs at work and saw there were leftovers of a beautiful mixed green salad. I got some of that with a bit of Asian dressing and I was good to go. I ate a whopping salad, my mood lifted and so did my confidence. I made a good choice. I was going to eat no matter what. My choice was a good one, though. Yay, me!

I counted up my points so far for the day and I am not even going to feel guilty when I have dinner out tonight. It’s within my points range. I did, however, find out how I ended up in this mess. Many things were not in my points range and I ate them and ate some more, too! But tonight is a guilt-free night.

If you are struggling, don’t beat yourself up if there is a failure. When you’re hungry again, make a good choice. Is it easy? No. In fact, it can be confusing. But if you start slowly and really simplify, it will get easier. One day at a time…

Discrimination Against Overweight People

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The other day I saw this post on Facebook:


I responded that sometimes the cost of healthy food is too expensive for people to eat properly. It was amazing the responses that came from that simple statement. I always knew that people discriminated against people who are overweight, but it was amazing how people posted such negative things. People replied that my response wasn’t true. I was speaking from my living situation and how I struggle financially to buy fresh produce. I was told that I could eat beans and rice. Yes, I do that. But I do like variety. I don’t want to eat just beans and rice for every meal. I miss strawberries, blueberries, bell peppers, a variety of lettuces and such. I can’t always afford them.

Some people were thoughtful and seemed to be trying to be helpful. I was told I should grow my own fruits and vegetables. Not everyone can do that. I live in an apartment. We aren’t allowed to just plant things willy nilly. I have done a little container gardening, but honestly that doesn’t provide enough food for an individual for frequent meals. It sure wouldn’t give enough for a family if they lived in my community.

It irritated me, though, that people assume that people don’t eat healthy because they’re just lazy. I wish others¬†would consider that some people are busy working in jobs that don’t always pay a lot and have to do the best they can to survive. After a long, hard day, they’re tired and need food choices that taste good and are good for them. When you have limited finances, you have limited options. It’s not always a matter of being lazy. Sometimes it’s a matter of economics.

That’s actually one of the purposes of this blog. I want to help myself and others find good foods that are affordable and tasty. I’m not lazy; I’m busy. I like beans. I like rice. I don’t like them constantly. I’m sure that others don’t either.

What gets me, though, is the fact that people feel that it is ok to discriminate against overweight people. It’s now acceptable. I wonder if they would feel it was ok to speak negatively to or about someone with mental retardation or of a different race? I don’t think it is ok to make assumptions about others in general. In my opinion it’s not alright to judge others or act condescending to others.

April 10, 2014

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I am a slacker. I admit it. I haven’t been writing here because I have tried to balance everything. It’s not been working so well. The one good thing recently is that I’ve tried to get back on the wagon with healthier eating. Yay me? Yeah, I fell off. It was a hard landing. I was working crazy hours. I wasn’t sleeping well. I wasn’t eating well. I was just functioning. Now I am trying to just get back on track. I have moved towards eating healthier. I have quit eating out so much. I was eating out all the time because it is hard to cook when you have less than 12 hours at home before you have to be back at work. I just wanted food immediately and sleep. Then I wasn’t sleeping well because of the food. Ugh! So I have started cooking up big batches of rice and veggies so I have these meals ready to microwave. It’s easier and more affordable. And tastier! I cook a helluva lot better than McDonalds!

I was also recently inspired by a friend who told me he lost 15 lbs. I was impressed. So I figured if he can, I can get back to it! I’m doing my shakes and eating better and feeling better slowly. It’s not the easiest road. Most of us know that. But it is a process.

4-Step Plan to Conquer Emotional Eating | The Dr. Oz Show

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Do you eat emotionally? I do sometimes. I try to drink low cal or no cal drinks during those emotional times to fill me up or work on whatever emotion is eating me. If I don’t I can end up eating my emotions. Here are some ways to work on emotional eating.

4-Step Plan to Conquer Emotional Eating | The Dr. Oz Show.


October 3, 2013

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I’m sorry I haven’t really written in a while. Life has been so consuming that I haven’t. Part of me has been just too busy and exhausted. The other part has been, “What do I say?” I haven’t been eating correctly for about 3 weeks and it all stems from working so hard and feeling a lot of frustration.

I guess you’re wondering what does she mean working too hard? My schedule lately has been so screwed up that I have been exhausted. There are days I work over 14 hours in a stressful environment. By the end of it my head hurts and I am usually starving because I didn’t get to eat well during that whole time. I have also been on call for work every other week because we are short-staffed. I used to only be on call once every 4 weeks. Basically that has doubled. A lot of extra stress has been added as well as many more responsibilities so I have been mentally and physically fried.

I believe all of this has helped lead to some depression. I eat when I am depressed and it’s usually not healthy. Ben & Jerry’s was my drug of choice the other night. I ate it and I did feel better briefly. But then within an hour I felt sick.

So I see where my issues and problems lie. I have to find quick and easy things to eat that are healthy. I can’t afford to keep doing this to my body. It makes me feel physically sick but also then I feel bad mentally and emotionally. It’s like I cheated on myself. In a way, I did. I cheated my body out of health and good nutrition.

I have today off and hope to go to the grocery store. I have decided since I am working so many freaking hours this weekend that I may just take the crockpot in and cook there. It usually takes 4-8 hours to cook anything and I am going to be working 13-15 hours 2 days this weekend. So I think a good ol crockpot of some chili made with frozen meat substitute crumbles sounds good. I love chili. The air is getting chillier. Perfect!

Thank you all for bearing with me. I am sorry I haven’t written. I tell ya, I have worked like this over a month and it honestly has felt like I live at work.