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I’m excited to be back on the Weight Watchers wagon! I fell off pretty hard over the summer. We weren’t having the program at work. I tried doing it on my own, but I really needed my cheerleaders. I have them. 🙂 We had over 40 people sign up at work and am beyond happy that I have so many people working toward a common goal with me.

They’re such an eclectic group. I know we are going to do wonderfully. I am trying to keep us all motivated. I am the liaison between Weight Watchers and my workplace. I also send out emails to the group throughout the week just to keep them going. I am also running a facebook page for them.

I’m going to be busy but it is so positive! Wish us luck!



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The year started out well but then things went terribly wrong. I no longer have a wonderful boyfriend. For a bit I was doing well to eat. Then I was eating terribly. I am back on track. It’s not easy. I’m still grieving the loss of the relationship and there are days I want to let Ben & Jerry’s soothe me. But I’m not doing it

I have lost 80 lbs at this point. I am very lucky that I have a really supportive workplace. That is helping. I am focusing on work and trying to just keep my life together. I have to start walking more. I want to get to my goal faster. I want to throw it in his face. Yes, I am losing weight for myself, but it doesn’t hurt that he already thought I was beautiful. Wait til I show how damn beautiful I can be. I’m ready to keep moving!

Watch out world! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.


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This has been a happy year but a rough one physically. I haven’t necessarily been eating like I should. There were days I was doing well to eat and then other days I ate everything. I am back on the bandwagon, though. I am really looking forward to getting back to my weight loss goals, though. I have a really supportive group of friends and a wonderful boyfriend who supports it as well. I have to push myself personally, but I can do it. I WANT to do it. 2015 was amazing. I’m looking forward to 2016!

September 1, 2015

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This has been a long,hard journey for me. This week hasn’t been my best. I failed this week. I could blame it on pms. I could blame it on falling in love. I could blame it on a lot of things. The bottom line is that the blame falls on me. I didn’t plan well enough. I let myself become too focused on something wonderful (falling in love) and didn’t focus enough on taking care of me. I have to remind myself that I am someone who can multitask. I can plan meals and laugh and giggle with a wonderful man. I am strong enough to tell him that I need take time after work to get my sweat on. He will appreciate me more most likely and I know I will feel better.

My goal for this week is to get my ass back in gear! I am refocusing and taking time for me. I am important. How I feel is important. Too many times I have put others ahead of myself. That helped lead to self-destruction. I want to be the best I can. I can’t do that by making excuses and not taking care of myself.

So what can i do? I have made a strategic plan for September. You can see what I plan to do below. This is in addition to what I already do at work, which includes walking 2-3 miles daily. I may adjust this as needed, but this is a goal.


September Exercise Schedule

Beginning Walking Program

Beginning Walking Program


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Know what some people don’t get? Pictures. It took me FOREVER to take a face shot. I don’t have an ugly face. But I was so self-conscious of it. It was fat and I felt so ugly. Thankfully as I have been losing weight my face has been losing first so I finally feel better. But I am working hard on the other. Really hard. I mean it got to the point where I blew out my knee a month ago. My doctor was like slow your roll, girl! How many docs tell you to dial it down? Mine did. So I am walking flat a lot but I cannot do stairs.

So as I try to still exercise, I still don’t feel good in front of a camera. I get gun shy. I will suddenly need to pee when a camera comes out. Anything to get me out of that room! I’m working on it. And I will get there. I am exercising and doing what I need to. But it is so hard for others to understand. I wish I could just explain it in some simple way. It’s not simple.

I look in a mirror or at a picture and can pick every imperfection out. I have been told about those imperfections all of my life. I am working on getting those words out of my head as I work towards the person I want to be. It’s not easy to undo years of conditioning. I hope that the people that don’t get it will care enough to just bear with me. It’s a process and it will take time. But frankly I am worth it.


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I’ve been working hard at work and personally. I had gotten stuck on the scale but I got it to move! How? Water. Lots of water. Who would think it would really do anything? But it really does flush that mess out of your system. I was having some edema and was really concerned so I pushed fluids like you wouldn’t believe. The the weight started moving. It clicked. More water.

I am almost at my 50 lb mark and it is emotional. Yes the road is long, but it is worth it. I am worth it. You are worth it. If you wonder about that or someone has put this negative shit in your head, get past it. I won’t say get over it…words hurt. I know. I have some words that loop at times. That is one reason I love music so much. I drown it out. I mean how can those words overcome “I’m bring booty back?” Can’t.

If you have any questions, concerns or anything I can help with, ask. I do care. I’m going thru it too! Big hugs!


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Last week I had a meltdown and then had a pancake frenzy. Pancakes? Why? I ate until I was almost comatose. They tasted good at first and then just blech. They weren’t the yummy, fluffy ones like at IHOP. Some were just kinda heavy and somewhat leaden. But they resembled what I wanted. According to the Weight Watchers calculator, it was only like 20 points worth of damage which I had enough points in my weeklies to cover. We’re not supposed to gain weight eating our weeklies. Guess what. Up 2 lbs. Damn pancakes. Maybe I didn’t calculate it all correctly. I don’t know. But I sure am pissed off at myself and the pancakes. They certainly weren’t worth it.

Since Tuesday I have been trying to work to get those 2 lbs off and i still have them. I am not real happy about it. It is frustrating that when you hit a milestone that you go and do something so stupid. And I know I have certain foods that are triggers. I know this! So why did I do that?! Well, I know I was pms-ing and just not having the best day. But I literally took the time to cook something bad. I couldn’t be talked out of it. That is ridiculous. I feel like I should know enough at this point than to make that mistake at this point.

Overall, though, I have done well. I just wish that food wasn’t such a big deal. So many people just eat and go on about their life. Not me. I think about it way too much. I analyze it, log it, re-think it and then get so overwhelmed that I say screw it and go nuts.Some foods don’t bother me at all. Peanut butter…not a problem. I can eat just a tablespoon and be done. Nutella? Not the same. I can bathe in it. Rice Krispies I can eat all day long. Rice cakes? Nope. Tastes mostly like cardboard.

I guess each day I am just going to have to review all I know and just take it step by step. It’s hard. I feel like a baby learning to walk. I want to run!