It has been a crazy day. I am exhausted. I walked over 3 miles today. My knee is killing me. You would think today was a crap day. And it was in some ways. But it was also not so crappy in others. I thought I had gained this week. I lost 2/10 of a lb. I know that is mere ounces. But the fact is that it is a LOSS and I’ll take that and be happy.
Today’s loss lifted my spirits significantly. I have been struggling the last week or so emotionally. I miss my Mama. The anniversary of her death was last week. Last week was also the birthday of the woman who treated me as her own after I lost everything. I lost her in the fall. This week has just been rough. Then Father’s Day coming up. I hate this time of year.
Am I going to let all these emotions and feelings stop me? No. I can’t. I want to outlive my mother. I am getting closer to the age she died and it’s scary. I have 4.5 years before I am the age she was when she died. I haven’t truly lived. I don’t want to die without some living. So I am working towards living again. It’s not easy. When you let life get you down for so long, after a while you just quit fighting. I did for a long time. Now I’m fighting like crazy to overcome that.
If you don’t mind, say a little prayer for me. I would love to have something wonderfully good and significant happen.
Hope you’re having a good week.