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Monthly Archives: May 2013

May 29, 2013

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It is amazing how emotions affect weight. When I am anxious, I can’t eat. I usually can’t sleep either. Then again, when can I sleep? When I am depressed, all I want to do is eat.

Recently I have been anxious. I have felt a lot of frustration and not known what to do about some situations. It was literally tying my body into knots. I felt tense, anxious, nervous, overwhelmed. I even had a day the other day where I was just so stressed that as soon as I was safely away from the stress and could have a moment to myself, I just cried my heart out. I sobbed actually. I drove home with hot tears coursing down my cheeks, talking to myself. I was going over the situation all over again and was so angry and hurt. I went home and curled up and just cried until I couldn’t move. I was out of strength.

I didn’t feel like eating after all of that drama. I had to find something, though. My head was pounding. It was splitting. I had to have something. I didn’t eat as well as I should have, but it could have been a lot worse.

But all of that really made me look at how emotions make us eat. Some people eat when they feel the way I did. I just shut down. A lot of it is that I feel nausea and just the thought of food is not pleasant. Anxiety is great for my weight loss, but it is hell on my emotions.

The good news to all of this is I feel better and stronger today. My stress isn’t gone, but I am looking at alternatives when dealing with it. When I begin to think about it, I try to make my head just stop. I try to get off that loop. I have to admit that isn’t easy. Instead, I focus on this video a friend showed me on YouTube. I laugh like crazy when I see it.

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About the Egg Rolls…

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Egg Rolls!

OMG…my brain is now churning with possibilities! What about PB&J egg rolls? Cheesecake egg rolls? Ricotta egg rolls? Elvis egg rolls with peanut butter and banana?!

These things are ENDLESS!

Peach Pie Egg Rolls

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Summer time is almost here. I generally don’t eat dessert too often. I prefer savory items. But being Southern, I love some peaches! I found a recipe that was for apple pie egg rolls and thought that it sounded good. But wouldn’t peaches be better?! So here ya go!

Peach Pie Egg Rolls

10 each egg roll wrappers
4 tablespoons flour, all-purpose
1/3 cup sugar
1/2 whole lemon, juiced
3 1/2 each fresh peaches, whole, med., peeled and chopped
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon allspice
1/3 teaspoon salt
1 egg, beaten
1 tablespoon light margarine, melted
2 teaspoons cinnamon sugar, for dusting

1. Preheat oven to 375 F.

2. Spray a large baking sheet with non-stick spray and set aside.

3. In a saucepan, mix together the peaches, sugar and lemon. Add water and cook over medium heat until the peaches are softened.

4. Allow the peaches to cool and then add the flour, spices and salt. Stir until well combined.

5. Beat your egg in a separate bowl.

6. Take one egg roll wrapper, lay it out on a cutting board and brush egg wash around each edge. Scoop about 2 tablespoons of peach filling towards one edge of the wrapper, leaving little border. Fold in the sides and roll up the egg roll tightly. Place it on the parchment-lined baking sheet. Repeat the step above as many time as needed.

7. Bake for 20 minutes then rush each egg roll with melted butter and sprinkle each with cinnamon sugar. Bake for 5 more minutes.

8. Serve hot and enjoy!

Serves: 1 egg roll each/10 servings

3 WW Points each

Per Serving (excluding unknown items): 162 Calories; 2g Fat (8.9% calories from fat); 4g Protein; 33g Carbohydrate; 1g Dietary Fiber; 24mg Cholesterol; 275mg Sodium.

Exchanges: 1 1/2 Grain(Starch); 0 Lean Meat; 1/2 Fruit; 1/2 Fat; 1/2 Other Carbohydrates.

May 25, 2013

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Just a quick post. Even though I ate something I shouldn’t yesterday, I still got into a pair of jeans that were one size smaller today. MILESTONE!!!!

May 24, 2013

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Oops! I caved. I was starving. I was tired. I ordered food. It wasn’t healthy. The upside was that I was in a calorie deficit this week. I mean, like a real deficit. So I still think I am ok. But I had a big-ass burger with sauerkraut and some fries. And it was really good! I have told y’all about this burger before. You know it is my favorite. It is my WEAKNESS! I was starving! I NEEDED it! Right? No, not right. I could have eaten half, but I didn’t. I ate the whole damned thing. And I enjoyed every damned bite until the very end when I realized I ate the WHOLE DAMNED THING! Too late! So let’s call it my Britney moment.

 

So we restart this thing. Right? That’s how I think this thing goes. Lesson learned. Next time I try to not give in to temptation. I try to keep my senses. Plan better. Don’t let emotions, tiredness and life make me make bad choices. And if I do eat something not so great, CONTROL HOW MUCH!

May 23, 2013 Part 2

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It happened today…someone asked me if I had lost weight. I don’t know if I have. I am only weighing at the doctor’s office so that I don’t obsess. But someone who hasn’t seen me in three months asked. It was nice. It was shocking. It was amazing. I hope it really is the truth. But someone asked.

 

May 23, 2013

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I’m really pissed off at some people right now and situations that I can’t do anything about. I mean REALLY pissed off. Usually this leads to heavy duty eating. Not this time, though. I don’t like how I’m dealing with it now, but it beats an additional five lbs on my ass because Ben & Jerry’s was my therapist of choice. Right now I have the scenario playing on a loop in my head. It’s like a record and the needle is stuck. And I’m pissed off. The only good thing I did for myself besides eating right was I was bitchy to one of the people who deserved it. I wasn’t overtly hateful. I just didn’t speak. That is rare for me. I think my point was made. If not, I’ll make it again tomorrow.

Part of my problem with food is I’ve allowed myself to turn to food when I didn’t want to deal with unpleasant feelings. Know what? All it did was make me fat amd get me used. I’m tired of living like that! I deserve better!!!! I deserve respect. And if some people won’t give it then they won’t get it in return.

All my life I was told I needed to please. I was NEVER told I should be pleased. I don’t want to act like this is all my mother’s fault, but she constantly ingrained in me that I was supposed to give and more times than not give in. It didn’t matter that I was hurting or felt alone; I needed to make peace.

Peace is good but not when there is a war within yourself. And the only way to smother the fires is to eat. And then after a while that is the only way you feel like you’ve truly been hugged.

So even though I’m pissed off, I’m also proud of myself. I didn’t let myself fall into pattern of eating myself into oblivion. I didn’t have an all out emotional outburst. I somewhat controlled it and ate well. I purposefully pissed someone else off who deserved it. And I’m ok. (For now.)