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April 5, 2013

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I am and have been out of control lately. I can’t stop eating. I don’t say it lightly. It is the truth. I feel ashamed to say it and I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. I have considered Overeaters Anonymous in the past but with my crazy schedule it is so hard. I think I am going to try an online meeting. Maybe that would help in some way? I don’t know. I feel such frustration, anger, confusion, and just so many other feelings I can’t even describe.

What was my downfall lately? Waffles. I just wanted a frozen waffle. I haven’t had one in forever so I got a pack. And I ate and kept eating. And they were so good. And I was so full. And it didn’t stop me from eating. And what the hell kinda person eats when they’re full? I was not hungry!

It really reinforced the fact that I cannot keep certain kinds of foods in the house. If it ain’t healthy, it ain’t staying in the house! It’s like I can’t stand it. I have to have it! There’s yogurt here. Did I eat that like crazy? No. But waffles? Oh hell yeah!

Anyway, I don’t want or need sympathy. I just wanted to write out my feelings. This was on my mind. I have a headache from thinking about it. I have been having migraines lately and I need to rest now. I hope you have a better day than I have been.

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About Amy

Recently I came to an ugly realization–I am middle aged. I didn’t really think so but then I doubled my age and thought, “Hmmmm…some of people don’t live to that age. I must be middle age.” This epiphany came in the third quarter of my 39th year. So I am surviving middle age…it’s scary.

4 responses »

  1. In Overeaters Anonymous, members admit they are powerless over food in Step One. It keeps us from feeling like we are failures when food tries to control us. Powerless over food means it’s not my fault, but there is something I can do about it: work the rest of the Twelve Steps of Overeaters Anonymous. Thanks for linking to my blog. God bless!

    Reply
  2. Your posting sounds like I could have written it. I am going to try OA. The mtg times don’t work for me so phone or online it will be. I actually canceled on plans today because of my growing body but I keep eating. Makes no sense. I wish there were a pill that made you sick if you over ate. I’m depressed, feel tired and ashamed of myself. But I keep eating. I just feel helpless

    Reply
    • Linda, I think if you are feeling this way, too, that maybe we both need to try it. I have certain triggers and when they hit it is like “Get the hell out of the way!” It has gotten to a point where I need help. I am glad to know there are others out there as well that are dealing with this, but it also saddens me, too. I hate that anyone feels this way. I am hoping to find a way to do an online meeting and see how that goes. I worked 65 hours this week and couldn’t do anything but work and try to rest. But this week is hopefully going to be much easier. I need to try to take care of myself. Nobody else is going to do it for me. You have to remember that, too! This is your life and you have to take care of YOU! Thank you for coming to my blog and I do hope you will come back. 🙂

      Reply

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