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October 1, 2012

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Today has not been a good day for me. I had to go to the doctor. I was heading out the door and it started out bad. I was walking down my steps and they were wet. Guess what happened next. I slipped and busted my ass on two of them. I banged my elbow. The positive side to being overweight is that it cushions your bones. Thankfully I didn’t break anything.

So I head to the doctor’s office. I waited and was nervous. I have been worrying about some heart flutters, headaches and such that I have experienced. I have been very scared. I am almost 42. My mother died when she was 49 of a heart attack. It scares me. There are times when I feel like I have 7 years left of life. I know that’s not a realistic view of things. My life isn’t defined by hers. But so many events of mine have been. It scares me. What if? I’m single, alone. Maybe that is a good thing, maybe it is a bad thing. I don’t know.

The doctor checked me over. I was not happy. My weight was up according to them. I told them the last time that the weight they had was wrong. So this time it looked really bad. Then we ran through my symptoms. She was concerned. I was concerned. She decided I needed an EKG. According to the EKG, I was fine. Also my blood  pressure was fine. My symptoms can be related to heart issues, though. But they also can be related to other issues as well. So because of the family history of heart issues I will be using an “event monitor” soon to make sure that nothing else is going on.

I’m sorry this is so down. But this is all related to weight in a way. Heart disease affects people who are overweight more than people who are normal weight. It’s scary. My mother had heart disease. I am worried about it.


About Amy

Recently I came to an ugly realization–I am middle aged. I didn’t really think so but then I doubled my age and thought, “Hmmmm…some of people don’t live to that age. I must be middle age.” This epiphany came in the third quarter of my 39th year. So I am surviving middle age…it’s scary.

2 responses »

  1. Don’t panic yet, there are many heart rhythm issues that are not related to weight, especially in peri menopausal women. Yes you are at risk due to mom’s history and weight but doesn’t mean impending heart attack. Eat a healthy diet, exercise, practice healthy living like stress management, and make the most of life.

    • Thank you for such kind words. I had a little cry yesterday and prayed. God reminded me that while I was born on Mama’s birthday and that she and I were a lot alike that I am not her and I am doing what I can to look into it. I appreciate your words as well as other people’s. I am not going to freak out if I can help it. I am a little anxious but I’m praying, giving it to God and doing my part. What is just is. Thanks again. 🙂


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