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August 18, 2012

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I am hanging my fingers in shame as I type this. I was terrible last night. 😦 I had pizza. And it wasn’t just a little bit either. I don’t know why I was so hungry, but I was starving! And I was really hungry, too! I took a break from eating to wait and see if I was still hungry and I was! So I ate another piece! I did realize something later, though. After eating pizza I seem to retain fluid. I guess all that saltiness does it. At least all this conscientiousness is making me realize certain things. I am learning more about myself through all of this.

I am also trying to not eat so emotionally. How hard that is! I have been a ball of emotions lately! I have had a lot of things and people on my mind that affect me. Usually that sends me into the pantry. Not so much this week. I eat and am done. If I start craving something I ask myself if it is time to eat and if I’m really hungry. If I just don’t know, which is really the case sometimes, I drink water. Sometimes that will fix the problem.

And btw, have you ever noticed that sometimes you don’t know if you are hungry or thirsty? At least I don’t. I think I get confused because for so long I have eaten when thirsty and I have my whole body thrown out of whack. So there is part of the journal and a tip! If you are just a little hungry, drink some water and see if you are really hungry or not. If you are hungry, you’re still going to be hungry after that water.

OK, it is time to work. And no, I don’t want to go. But I have two days off after this. Thank God! I am in need of it! My three days off last week were heaven and made me want MORE!

About Amy

Recently I came to an ugly realization–I am middle aged. I didn’t really think so but then I doubled my age and thought, “Hmmmm…some of people don’t live to that age. I must be middle age.” This epiphany came in the third quarter of my 39th year. So I am surviving middle age…it’s scary.

4 responses »

  1. One slip up isn’t the end of the world – don’t beat yourself up! It’s fine to have a treat once in a while so long as you get back in your good habits soon enough 🙂 And yes – I know exactly what you mean with the thirst/hunger thing… I try drinking a big glass of water when I’m hungry and give myself 15 minutes. If I’m still hungry after that, it’s time to eat!

    • Thanks! I have really been trying to look more into what I am doing wrong. It’s eye-opening. So many things! I’ll get it…one day. 🙂

  2. Yeah, I’m a “thirsty eater.” If I’m thirsty, I’ll want to eat binge foods to alleviate the physical discomfort instead of logically chase down a glass of water. I’m surprised about the pizza, since it’s not that bad as a complex food. It provides grains, dairy, vegetables, and protein. I’ll admit it’s not perfect (I used to eat a whole 12-inch pizza in a sitting in college, instead of one or two slices). You didn’t appear to binge, though it seems you were very aware of your thirstiness.

    I’m reading your blog, and you’re doing really well, Amy. Don’t kick yourself. There’s no such thing as a “bad food”. Depending on the size of the pizza? Those two slices *were* moderation–between 400 calories for both to maybe 1,000. Better than knocking back a whole pizza like I used to. Don’t beat yourself up, okay? Just look at what you eat other times that are similar–like maybe spaghetti and meatballs with cheese (if you are a cheese-user). It’s just the same. It just looks like a bad food because someone told you it was.

    • Oh I ate! Man, did I eat! And what gets me is I know I am thirsty and I just don’t get off my butt and drink water. What’s up with that? I think a lot of it is I am at work and I get busy and then forget. Then there is the “If I drink too much water I will have to pee and I don’t have time to keep peeing” mentality. I know that sounds bad, but I don’t have much help at work and I am BUSY! I have lots to do and I’m one person trying to sometimes do the job of two.

      Jess, you’re so nice! Thanks so much for being so encouraging! It really means a lot. This is why I created this blog. I needed encouragement and to just throw my thoughts out there and to see if anyone else was going through this same stuff. Thank you so much!


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