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August 8, 2012

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I’ve been feeling pretty emotional the last few days. I am proud to say that while I didn’t eat foods that were good for me, I didn’t eat until I exploded. That is a step in the right direction. I actually just ate until I was full. I was surprised that I could do that. If I was still hungry later, I could eat more later. But I didn’t binge.

I will admit, though, that I slept a lot. It was a coping mechanism for dealing, or not dealing, with some of my feelings. I just didn’t want to think about things so I tried to just sleep through it. I wasn’t depressed necessarily. I just didn’t want to think. I was over-thinking. This would lead to possibly being overwhelmed and then overeating. And frankly, I was just OVER IT! I did do a lot of good things and got to talk to a lot of people I have missed. It was nice. So I didn’t let all my negative feelings control my life.

Right now I will admit I am pretty angry about something. There was a misunderstanding on wording and I may have to pay for it. I am not happy. Especially when I had something planned for months. I have requested that the situation be rectified immediately and I got a very negative response.  We’ll see. I am beyond pissed at the moment. And frankly, if I could just shake the shit out of someone I probably would. But then I would end up in jail and I don’t think they’d let me take my cats so screw that!

Say a prayer I can keep a lid on my anger cause I am pretty close to boiling over. I’m so mad I am about to go find a pill to calm me down!

 

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About Amy

Recently I came to an ugly realization–I am middle aged. I didn’t really think so but then I doubled my age and thought, “Hmmmm…some of people don’t live to that age. I must be middle age.” This epiphany came in the third quarter of my 39th year. So I am surviving middle age…it’s scary.

One response »

  1. You’re telling my eating story here, lady. 🙂 I am an emotional eater. I want to bury the discomfort so much, and it stinks to feel anger or fear and not know which way to go without having an uncontrolled reaction. I like being nice, and numbing myself with food made it easier. Well, sometimes. When I binged food that made me even more irritable? Oh, I was unlivable.

    Reply

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